Self-acceptance is a real thing

How many times have you felt frustrated while talking to someone or just thinking about a topic that bothers you? The series of events that happened in the past maybe still fresh in your mind to bring the rage, guilt, frustration, self-doubt and many other negative emotions. It is alright to feel so for a moment or a few minutes but the journey is how to let things go and not bother you in the present.

When I started preparing for my GMAT in my late teenage years, I was scared! Can you believe an adult saying that? Who is scared of an exam after you are out of school? But for me, the anxiety of looking at numbers and solving math was a real thing. In the examination hall, I blanked out when the math section started, my palms felt sweaty and my heart was thumping really hard. I felt like screaming on top of my voice. In the middle of the test, I ran into the washroom and started crying, not knowing what else to do. Just for the sake of completing the exam, I went outside and clicked random choices in front of my screen and walked out. I just wanted to get out of there, go home cover myself and cry. Obviously, I failed in this attempt but there was something inside me which did not let me accept this defeat. I had a feeling of proving myself in front of others that I can do it too.

Coming from a middle-class family in India, as an average girl, I had to work my way into a successful career because settling with marriage was just not who I was. I could not sleep that night and I was determined to take the test again. A month after my failed attempt, I went ahead and gave the test again; this time I was calm and composed. I was reading the problem to understand it better rather than escaping from the anxiety. With a lot of confidence, I answered the last question and submitted my results and finally passed the test with an average score. But what mattered to me was, I was able to do it.

Self-acceptance means looking at the pieces of you which are not perfect and embracing them. As a child, I was scared of numbers and math to an extent that I refused to study after my 10th grade. All these years have taught me a few easy coping mechanisms.

1. Accept your weakness: As I mentioned earlier, not everyone is good at everything but we need to strive to make the worse parts of us look not so bad. After you accept that there is a gap somewhere, talk to yourself about it. What is it that I am really scared about? Is giving an exam a problem? Do I bother about what people will say to me? Accepting yourself is half the battle won. When you accept weaknesses, it does not mean that you give up on doing the task. It simply means that you work harder to achieve your goals or you simplify the issue in a way that your brain accepts it. In my case, I started drawing math problems and it was easier for me to comprehend the problem.
2. Break it into pieces: When you look at a problem as a whole, it can create a snow-balling effect especially if you are an over thinker. Our brains have the power to join random dots and connect them to make a superficial scenario which might not even happen and we sit wallowing over it. Try to dissect the problem in different pieces. As this process happens, ask your brain to take the Stop-Think-Focus STF approach. This method helped me in resolving a lot of inner issues which were entangled over a period of time. STOP the negativity as soon as you feel it. THINK about what is it that you are really scared or worried about and FOCUS on the efforts that you can make to resolve the issue.
3. Gratitude: Although you are going through the toughest times in your life with your boss, your spouse, financially or any other aspect, remember to feel happy. It is easier said than done and I am sure everyone else around us also keeps talking about the power of positivity. But gratitude is a real thing. Ask yourself what is it that you don’t have? Did you have lunch today? Did you have a bed to sleep on and a roof to protect you? Do you have water and food in your kitchen? If the answer to all these questions is “yes” then you are richer than you think. Many people are not privileged of what you have, so be grateful for small things in life.

Start your tomorrow with a new start, bring a smile on your face and put on your favorite piece of clothing. Stay awesome!